when the abyss stares back into you

she offered me the void

I denied my desire, her call

and instead built a fortress as if it could hold me

keep me safe

contain me

 

tastefully decorated in muted tones, casual observers couldn’t tell its foundation stones were a dungeon of sadness

 

she burnt it

 

she snuck in through the plumbing and then

burnt it all down

burnt it out

now we dance in the ashes

in glory

 

Something in me

Rises again, from the ashes, from the fields of the slain

Something I can’t name

Sings to me, sometimes

I hear the sweet lyrics over the din of the feasting crows

The ruins of the tower still smoulder

I gag from the stench but the smoke clears

And the thunder heralds the rain

promising that nothing was lost

Only transformed

All the sad dead children are beetles

All the wasted slaves are electricity

All those sacrificed for the nameless gods’ grace are plastic bags

they think death comes prematurely

I had a smart watch which told me what they were thinking

Little buzzy jolts of new knowledge, every time someone remembered me

Or not me, but my simulation in their database

I don’t wear it any more